5:30 AM and no sign of sleep…

  I’m a thinker by nature. I am always thinking about why things are they way they are, how things work, why people do the things they do etc. Every once in a while I wake up in the middle of the night thinking. I go from sound asleep, snoring my happy like night songs, to just being awake and thinking. It’s not like I jump up with some earth shattering ‘OH MY GOD!’ kind of thought… but I just sort of notice that its 5:30 am and I’m thinking about this and that and not the least bit tired. Well this is one of those nights, so I figure if I type out some of my thoughts my eyes will get tired and I will fall back to sleep, so here it goes.

One of the things I have been thinking about is work. Work is going pretty well. It has its pros and its cons. For instance, we are paid a not too bad salary, and we can commission out to the tune of over a thousand dollars a month. It’s not overly difficult to achieve the service levels required for this, but its not a walk in the park either. So that is a pretty good pro I would say… one con is I leave for work at 8:30 am and get there at 9:30 am. Yup, that’s right, an hour each way… but that brings me to another pro…. after a certain amount of time you can apply to work from home… I plan to do this. They set up all the equipment you need and you work from a home office. No distractions of 300 follow employees and what not, no hour each way, probably more in the winter months. No dress code. What is not to like. I know some people have had the opportunity and don’t want it. But for me, its something I really really want. 

Another thing I have been thinking about a lot is this house I am renting. It is like a hobby house for me. I like doing renovations and stuff, and used to have a whole workshops worth of tools, before my first wife gave them all away while I was at work when she realized that the marriage was over. So now, me and Stephen have rented this house and are fixing it up. The owner pays for the materials or lets us buy them and apply the receipts to the rent as cash. People are always saying, your putting all this work into this house that you will never own. I look at it like this. It’s a hobby. I enjoy doing it. It isn’t costing me anything except some time. I am gaining experience and if I tear a wall out and find a huge problem, it’s not my wallet that has the heart attack lol. One issue I am having though is that I work full time hours, mon – fri 9:30 – 6, doesn’t leave a lot of time for this work. By the time you take into consideration social lives and days that you are just too drained to do a lot of stuff, it is very slow going. Projects that could take a day or two take a week. It’s not so bad most of the time, but if your having a bad day, and you walk into your house and there is that wall that needs gyp rocked, and that carpet that needs a threshold put down and so on, it can really irritate you. Some hot supper and a bottle of beer usually help you calm down a little, but there are moments when you think, ‘what the F#%^@ did I get myself into here?!’

And then there is love. This is a subject that I don’t think about too much because it has a way of just making your head spin. I mean, I think love should be the simplest thing there is. You find someone who makes you smile and get butterflies when your around them. You get to know each other, you love them, they love you back, you become best friends, and complete each other. You have good times, great times and sometimes work through some rough times. So why is that I have been in Long Term Relationships, 4, 5, 6 years and some how end up single again. People go out and cheat, then beg to be taken back, then do it again… I have had exes come to me and tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to them. They felt terrible for putting me through what they had. They never meant to put me through what they did. If they had it to do over again they would treat me like a prince. Well why didn’t they do that the first time around. They have all given the same answer: I don’t know why I did it, it wasn’t even that good! You just weren’t there. So to me that says that most people can’t be trusted. Leave them alone for a few hours and expect trouble. I mean, is it my fault if I work 9 – 5 and they work back shift or something retarded like that? Anyway. All I want from life is someone to love and treasure and to have them love and treasure me back. That simple. Love, Truth, Respect. Is that too much to ask for? Experience would tell me yes. I guess it’s a good thing I am very good at being independent.

 Well… on that note I am going to try to get a few winks… feel free  to reply on here or email me at: jb_28@hotmail.com
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